So not long ago I started the wretched evil process known as post-partum dieting. I cut out carbs, reduced wine consumption, and actually started working out. Blech. Hate it. But not as much as I hate hate hate being GINORMOUS. So there you go.
With that sort of positive outlook and energy you can imagine the sigh I let out when I hit the scale this morning and found that I have finally reached my pre-pregnancy *all time high* weight. Yeah. That. I’m now back to my pre-pregnancy range, which (I am trying to tell myself), is good. Unfortunately though it’s a number that represents the FATTEST I ever was before having a baby. A number that says I still have a way to go. A number that still sucks.
I remember passing that number (on the way up) when I was at the doctor’s last year. I had a flash of panic that went something like: “Whoa whoa! Red alert people! We are in a whole new territory here. We are experiencing numbers never seen before in LaPlante fat-ass history”, but then I remembered I was pregnant and promptly got myself a big ol’ chocolate chip muffin at the coffee shop downstairs.
Damn muffin. Now I’m paying.
Audrey recently hit a weight and height milestone as well. She’s outgrown most of her 3-6 month clothes. Putting away her little newborn and 3 month outfits made me so wistful. I already miss how snoozy and cuddly she was. I stood in front of her closet thinking, “I wonder what I can do to freeze her at this size.” Hmmm.
Then it occurred to me that I needed to save the outfits for… get this… the next baby.
Can I just skip the losing weight thing and jump right to the muffins again? Not a good reason to get pregnant, right?
Friday, June 19, 2009
Milestones
Thursday, December 11, 2008
It's a girl!!
Audrey Jane Anderson
December 7, 2008, 8:10 pm
8 lbs, 15 oz., 21.5 inches
Her Name:
Audrey after my great grandma. Jane after J's Grandmother.
Nicknames:
Audball. The A bomb. Little Monkey. Anderson Pooper.
Likes:
"Getting groceries" (aka nursing), plus sucking daddy's fingers, and the tip of his nose.
Dislikes:
Pacifiers. Sleeping.
Other Tricks:
Can scooch and crawl up daddy's chest if she's laying on top of him.
Can get her hands out of the tightest, most insanely snug swaddles.
Labor Details:
Not sure if it was the trip to Lowe's, acupuncture, the raspberry tea, or the curry dinner, or the combination of all of them but I started getting contractions on Saturday night around 10 pm or so. We called our doula at around 1 am.
Yup, I said doula. The first 7-8 hours of labor were at home with Mr. Anderson and our fantastic doula, Jen.
Now before you think I've gone all granola on you, the back story is this: My goal for labor was to put off medical intervention for as long as possible in order to protect my back. Sounds counter intuitive, but when you get an epidural you can't feel *anything*, which is problem because when you have a herniated disc, you only know if you're re-triggering the herniation by the type of pain you feel down your leg. If you can't feel any pain, you can't correct and realign. By pushing an epidural until as late as possible, I could move around and control my positioning, thereby protecting my lumbar area. (And as bonus, holding off on the epidural also reduced my chances of needing pitocin, thereby reducing my chances of c-section, which would have also put my back at risk, plus made recovery harder.) So there you go. Your type A working girl turns granola. Anything to never go through that back pain again.
Actually, I should say I was really happy with the experience I had during those first 8 hours. Not just because I successfully protected my back, but being at home was actually were a very special experience. Let me just say, my husband was an amazing support -- we really became a "team", and our doula kept us both calm. By the time we left to head downtown at sunrise, I was moving into active labor, but feeling confident and anxious to meet the baby.
At the hospital things got a little tougher. After the epidural, everything slowed down. I was really limited to just one position because of the pain meds and my back, which made dilation progress less quickly (freakin' 8 hours to go the last 3 cm!), and in the end pushing took 3 hours and yielded very little. We finally had to bring our baby into the world via "salad tongs" (Andersonese for Forceps).
In the end I was so exhausted I could barely see a foot in front of me, but when the baby actually came out Mr. Anderson lifted me up a little and in all the commotion, I only heard him. He said, "Look, it's Audrey!"
In that instant everything cleared away and we were a family. So here we are. She's perfect, healthy and feisty. We're very happy.
Give us a few more days to figure things out before you demand more pictures. (That means you, mom.) We truly appreciate all the good wishes and support.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
No baby. More clever thoughts...
So there's snow falling today, and due to budget cuts by the village we aren't going to have regular plowing and salting. This, naturally, has my hopes up. Of course the baby should come when the roads are slightly treacherous, right?
Also, we've decided to run some errands today. One of which is a trip to Lowes. After a year of construction, I can't think of anything more poetic than having my water break at a home improvement store. We're going to do some extra laps. I'm aiming for a clean up on the lumber aisle. Bwahahhahhaahahaha.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
1/4 of the cake gone. No baby. New game plan.
Chocolate cake with pure white icing and fresh rasberries.Grandma Jane would be proud.
I have an induction date of 12/12, but I really want to avoid the medical route if possible. So the get-the-baby-out plan is as follows:
Leftover crab legs last night.
Accupunture today.
Walking.
Rasberry Leaf Tea.
Plus some other things that would fall into the category of TMI.
My sweet baby daddy is trying persuasion. The night before last he told the baby that grandpa would build him/her an igloo if he/she would come out. And last night he offered cake. Baby doesn't seem impressed. We'll go for a pony tonight maybe. I'm getting desperate.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Re-due
No baby.
Yesterday was an oddly disappointing day.
For one, waking up on your due date and realizing there will be no baby that day (or at least being pretty sure you don't feel like you're likely to have a baby that day) is a fundamentally disappointing thing. In most obvious terms there's been 40 weeks of build up and then, nothing. And then "nothing" is followed up by impatience. (When when when then?) And then the phone calls start. I got at least 5. And you know, while I realize everyone is well-meaning, it's annoying. (BTW, I promise you, I'll let you know if I have the baby. You don't have to call.)
I now understand the brilliance of my friend Deborah's Due Date Cake. When I woke up yesterday, the one comfort I took was that at least I would get a due date cake. But then... I went to the doctor... and...
For reasons I can't quite explain, I was informed my due date is not Dec. 2, but today, Dec. 3. Weird, huh? The story goes like this: yesterday when I went to the Doctor's office I greeted the physician's assistant with, "Well, here we are! My due date and no baby." And she replied with, "Oh no, tomorrow, you mean." What?? After a little confused back and forth, plus me checking the chart twice, we confirmed that, medically at least, my due date is actually TODAY. Huh? How did that not come up in the LAST NINE MONTHS?!
So no baby, a new due date, and no due date cake.
Boooooo
Thank goodness for my fabulous in-laws, R&M, who decided to cheer me up (and help along labor) by taking me out to Shaw's for some delicious crab legs, lobster rolls, and oysters! If shellfish really does in fact move labor along, then I couldn't have gotten a better kick start. It was delicious.
Now, I'm off to start prepping the (revised) due date cake! Yum!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Baby's Room - Check!
So we took advantage of the long Thanksgiving weekend to get everything ready in the baby's room. Take a look. 
Monday, November 17, 2008
T-2 weeks
I'm not sure I'm ready to be a mom, and I know I'm not totally ready for my life to change, but I'm definitely ready to be NOT pregnant. Check out the load I'm carrying around:
Not convinced I'm all that big? Ah, well, maybe like me, you barely remember what I used to look like. This should put it all in perspective...
19, 27, and now, 38 weeks:
Monday, September 22, 2008
What I would name my pregnancy book, if I were to write one:
The Bitter Waddler
What to Expect When You're Wearing Maternity Underwear
Your New All-Time High Weight: A Month by Month Journey
Maternity Pants: Satan's Little "Congratulations!"
Girlfriends Guide to Heartburn
Missing You Desperately: 9 Months Without Wine
The Cankle Diaries
For All This, This Kid Better Grow Up to be President.
Eyes on Your Epidural
Monday, September 01, 2008
Nesting (male version)
So you may recall we're in the last mile of our year-long construction project on the house. On this fine Labor day, I thought it would be appropriate to pay a tribute to my superhuman husband, who is, dare-I-say maniacally laboring on the house in order to get as much done as possible before the baby comes.
There's way too much to post here today, but here are a few highlights of his recent work:
1. Insulating inside the upstairs walls
2. Assembling my awesome new closet
3. New faucet
4. Staining the new back windows and door in the kitchen
Before:
After:
Plus a whole lotta other stuff:
The fireplace staining is by far his pièce de résistance:
Before:
After:
After all that, assembling a crib is so easy he only needs one hand:
Whew! Can you see why I got knocked up? Gotta keep this guy around!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
My run in with a charming protestor
So the DNC is here in Denver this week and I'm enjoying every minute of it. The vibe downtown is festive and celebratory and well organized, which is nice to see. Plus everyone you run into has an interesting story or opinion on what's going on with the race, domestic policy, or international affairs. My kind of atmosphere!
There are lots of loons, too, which only adds to the experience in my opinion. In fact, Monday night there was a mini-riot/protest outside my apartment building (which I got to experience first-hand from the lobby because, like an "I love Lucy" episode, I happened to lock myself out of my unit at the exact same time.) Unfortunately they had confusing signs and no leadership, so the press couldn't figure out their cause. Hmmm. Not smart, right?
My favorite nutjob story though: This morning on my way to work an older white man stopped me by sticking a flyer in my face and urgently blurting, "Help stop overpopulation!". I actually stopped, looked straight at the guy and said, "You can't hand a pregnant woman a flyer on overpopulation!" He responded quickly and unphased with, "No! Your baby's fine!! We don't want illegal babies!"
I was stunned, I admit it. I had no return for him. I just took the flyer and walked on. By the time I was two blocks away I was fantasizing about all the things I should have said. I should have told him how much he offended me, and how little Jorge Anderson has just as much right to the American dream as his kids do. Or tomorrow, if he's there again, I'm going to ask him what native American tribe he's from.
Oh - and the flyer? Their chief complaint about overpopulation? TRAFFIC!! More gridlock if we let illegal immigrants fuel overpopulation. Seriously. Of all things.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
So now we're calling it "der Schnitzel"
Every week I get a couple of emails that tell me interesting tidbits about the baby's development. None have been nearly as entertaining as this one:
25 weeks:
"Your little wiener schnitzel is about the length of a foot-long Chicago hot dog and weighs about 1 1/3 pounds."
Monday, July 28, 2008
Nesting (the female version)
Two weeks ago I didn't even want to think about the baby's room. I was distracted by my back pain, busy at work, and, whatever... I had tons of time. (Actually, I think I even used the line, "Come on, babies can sleep in a drawer. They don't know!") Plus, given that we don't even have a dining room table or living room furniture, it seemed sorta silly to get worked up about baby stuff.
Ah, well, funny how hormones get you. Suddenly I'm obsessing about the baby's room. Sooo... this weekend while my little sister was visiting I forced her to help paint our dresser red, and I actually started PLANNING, people.
I'll post pics of our -- I mean -- her, handywork tomorrow, but in the meantime, below is my my style file for the future Anderson offspring's fun, funky and gender-neutral room:
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Another charming side effect
I'm completely freaking people out at my office. It's bad enough that I sit at my desk with special lumbar rolls, walk with a waddle already, and occasionally have to ice my back in meetings, but today I got a spontaneous nosebleed! Niiiiice.
I bet Angelina got those all the time. And I bet Brad thought they were sexy.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Two major pregnancy milestones this week.
1) I felt the baby move for the first time!
2) I sneezed and peed myself a little.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Frequently Asked Pregnancy Questions
Q: Is Mr. Anderson the father?
A: How dare you, yes.
Q: When are you due?
A: Dec. 2
Q: How are you feeling?
A: Apart from the back thing, the fact that I can't sleep (hence me up at 4 am now), the fact that most food repulses me, and and the morning sickness, I'm OK. It definitely hasn't been a glorious Angelina Jolie pregnancy, though.
Q: Any nicknames?
A: The Gote, Triscuit, Wyatt, Wyetta, Wynotta, WhyIOtta, (Thanks to my father-in-law, anything that can be derived from "Wyatt".)
Q: Are you going to name it Wyatt?
A: No
Q: Then why are you calling it Wyatt?
A: Only 5 minutes after finding out we are going to have a baby, my FIL declared we should name it Wyatt. That inevitably set off a traditional Anderson naming game - which means it's going to be called Wyatt for a little while, then Wyatt begins to turn into every nickname the family can think of for Wyatt. It's hard to explain, but truly hilarious.
Q: Are you craving anything?
A: Bourbon. Specifically, Maker's Mark.
Q: Hahah. That's funny. Seriously, what are you craving?
A: Seriously, Bourbon. It smells like heaven.
Q: You're not drinking Bourbon are you?
A: Ummmm. Of course not. Noooo.
Q: Are you showing?
A: That depends. I think I just look like I had a burrito for lunch, but the other day while I was looking at a summer dress, a 19 year-old Nordstrom saleswoman called me out with "I have a couple of pregnant ladies who also have bought that dress. It works well for maternity!" DOH!
Q: Do they know at work?
A: Well, the Nordstrom girl freaked me out. So I'm telling everyone this week.
Q: Wait -- are you still flying to Denver?
A: Yes.
Q: What? How?
A: Very carefully.
Q: That must suck.
A: Was that a question?
Q: You're not going to keep doing that, are you?*
A: I'm modifying my schedule slowly. Over the next few months, I'll be working more and more from home. By October 1, I'll be working from home entirely.
Q: Are you going to find out if its a girl or a boy?
A: Nope. We're going to be surprised.
Q: How does your mother like that?
A: She thinks we're crazy, and has just decided to assume it's a girl. If it ends up being a boy, it will have to be cool enough to wear pink.
* Actually, this question has only been asked (in horror) by my mom.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Much better than an MRI, don't you think?
There's been a little confusion about the previous post. Sadly, no, my back hasn't completely healed. While I'm much better than I was, I still have to go to physical therapy, and I'm still in some pain. The picture in the last post was actually taken the day before my back went out. (Lordy, if only I could go back and warn myself to quit jumping and lie down!) Of more significance though... that picture was also taken when I was...
FIVE WEEKS PREGNANT!
Yup. Except for this whole herniated disc thing, everything's going along perfectly.
OK, seriously, the back was (obviously) a worrisome complication earlier in the pregnancy, but in the last few weeks my team of doctors (OB, Back Surgeon, Physiatrist, Rehab folks, etc) have all reassured me that this is going to be OK.
This ultrasound picture was taken at 12 weeks. I'm almost 15 weeks now. We're due Dec. 2. And we're thrilled.
