Wouldn't we all like to...

Dear Resume Submitter:

There's no chance I'm going to hire you. This is mostly due to the fact that its clear from the very top of your resume you're not interested in working at all:

Available for employment in:
Colorado - I require relocation assistance to work in this state.
California - I require relocation assistance to work in this state.
Florida - I require relocation assistance to work in this state.
Hawaii
Bahamas - I require sponsorship to work in this country.
Cayman Islands - I require sponsorship to work in this country.
Costa Rica - I require sponsorship to work in this country.

Dream On,
-Someone who actually works for a living